Mother's Little Helper

I know that lately I haven't really been getting too personal. I have been waxing poetically about my wonderful commute and extolling the wonders of bike websites. Well, tonight I change that.

I have depression and OCD. Take a moment to register your shock or laugh at the obviousness of that statement. Ok, done? I am also coming on the anniversary of a pretty tragic event in my life, and my job is so stressful that I leave with a tension headache every other day. I would expect to be a complete wreck, crying all the time or numbing out completely.

Strangely that has not been the case. At first, I thought I was not dealing, or must be avoiding issues. Then I realized that nothing lately has really thrown me for a loop. It stopped about 2 months ago. Right about the time I started riding pretty seriously. Coincidence? I doubt it. I feel great and so hopeful. My insomnia has all but disappeared and I find myself with more energy than I have ever had. I have never had such a great body image. I simply feel great.

THAT is the best part of cycling for me. It has been a scary thing, throwing myself into a sport and an established (male-dominated) community. A year ago this would have thrown me into paralyzing fear and insecurity. Instead, I am so excited and full of hope. I look forward to my next ride and find myself hoping that I can ride to wherever my destination may be (concert, party, grocery store, church...).

Is this from the support I have found in friends and fellow riders, or the actual riding? I think it is a bit of both. Either way, I am so grateful. Yes, life is hard and some things are hard to accept, but everything feels a little bit easier on my bike.

On another note, Mick Jaggar is so sexy right now. New blue tires and white bar tape. If my bike were a person, I would have a mad crush on it. Picture to come.