My So-Called Life: Why I Started Triathablogging

Today, at the grocery store, I saw a former college professor of mine. She asked what I was doing now, and she was shocked when I told her. I work in promotions for a company that sells housewares — primarily, I write a catalog and brochures.

In college, I won the award for most promising Journalism student. I edited the school's literary journal for longer than any other student had. I dressed differently than the other students (I didn't wear pearls, for one thing) and I didn't care. And I hated advertising, and marketing, and promotions.

I have a very good job, and I know I'm lucky to have it, but it's a failure to me in a lot of ways. I'm a very giving and loving person, and family is the most important thing to me, but I haven't even had a boyfriend in ten years. I still live in a crappy little apartment in a building that's about to be condemned. And on top of all that, I can't seem to lose weight, even though I'm running every day.

I've always been a "good girl," a rule follower, a bookworm, a teacher's pet. As it turns out, playing by the rules doesn't have much of an effect on the outcome of the game. I am profoundly confused about how my life seems to be turning out. I have no idea what direction to go.

So I move in a lot of directions at once. I'm doing Triathablog, and I wrote a complete draft of a novel last month. I'm starting a new diet tomorrow, and this week I have a meeting about collaborating with another writer on a new book. It's exhausting, but I don't know how else to do it. I'm afraid of what will happen if I slow down, or if I stop.

I really, really hate to write about all this. But a good friend told me I should get more personal here, so I'm taking her seriously, at least for today.